Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
