Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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