No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
