wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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