Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize