I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
