You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.