That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?