Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
