so let's talk penis.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
