I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
