Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
