I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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