I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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