I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
