If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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