She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Randomize
