And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
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I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
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His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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