butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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