Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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