At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
