Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
