he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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