You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
