Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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