I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
