$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
