Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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