Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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