you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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