so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
