weddingsv make me drug and hornr
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
