True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
did i walk over a car last night?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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