well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
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Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Vodka?
Forever.
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Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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