honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
