finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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