this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
