i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize