Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
