Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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