I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
tell me about the fingering
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