i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
All the doctor said was why
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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