You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
