do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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