it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
