everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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