Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
