Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
