The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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