Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
