So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
