I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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