Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
