So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
