My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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