the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
