remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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