I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
