dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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