Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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