put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Randomize
