So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
