I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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