sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
