Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
