Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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