Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
