He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
