he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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