Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
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