He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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