So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
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